


When it Ends (m,) Eren Yeager

by ohreia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28581945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohreia/pseuds/ohreia
Summary: ♡ when it ends.― short story, set after time skip, season 4 (spoilers, possible manga spoilers)❝ I'm different from you. ❞❝ How's that ❞❝ I've never had a choice ❞In which a warrior finds herself in the presence of Falco's mysterious friend. They find themselves more similar than anyone they've met before.( shingeki no kyojin )( eren jaeger x y/n )( mature content ) *slow burn
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 12
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter One, Well Written Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Before you read please note that this is a explicit story that covers topics alike sex and death (including topics like suicide). The sex will be explicit but the suicide mentions will be minor like in the anime/manga.
> 
> Please follow me at my Wattpad if you enjoyed as I mostly post on there and I update chapters there before I put it on here!  
> Find me on Wattpad @ohreia (the same username). It's hard to read your comments and interactions here so please leave them there and feel free to message me!

ꕥ

It was as dull as ever here, it bored you to death but it didn’t matter, it has never mattered how you felt. 

You paced back and forth wondering when he was going to be done. Never the less it was mildly exciting to watch the sunrise across the horizon. The seabirds flew through the gushing winds and the tides rip through the rocks below. Choosing to sit down to wait.

Suddenly your ears were blown out by the sounds of trampling footsteps, an excited scream rips through that, “Y/n!”

You turned from your seated position on the bench, “Hey guys.”

There they were the bright faces of the next line of titan shifters, your eyes land on the young face of Falco who was definitely your favourite. Yet Gabi who seemed to find you as her favourite couldn’t wait to tell you about the entire meeting.

“Y/n! I missed you, why weren’t you at the meeting with everyone else?” She asks.

You pat her head gently and explained, “I got sick, the doctor recommended for me to stay in bed until the evening. Did you have fun?”

“Yes! I’m so excited-“

“Gabi,” Reiner interrupts her, nodding towards you which you returned, “I think it’s time for dinner, let me escort y/n whilst your take your friends ahead.”

She huffs stubbornly but listens and takes her friends along.

“Was it as amazing as she was going to tell me?”

Reiner sighs, rubbing his eyebrows, “No. Walk with me?”

“Course.”

ꕥ

The pair of you walked around the town, it was dark now and the number of citizens walking around narrowed. The two of you of course allowed out in the dark now with your armbands, honorary citizens of course.

“They’re listening to us.”

“I know that, Reiner,” You scoff, rolling your eyes, “Tell me something I don’t know.”

Reiner chuckles, scratching his beard- something he does whenever he gets nervous.

“Zeke seems to have a plan.”

You nod, “He seems to always have one.”  
Your eyes trailed over onto the ground, stepping over the cobblestone. The thoughts running through your mind gently as it overcomes you, so you must ask.

“Do you think Gabi’s suitable for your titan, Reiner?”

Reiner lets out a deep sigh, “She could be.”

It was clear as day for you.

“I think Falco should get it,” You said, “After all, you favour him and he’s a boy with the right mindset.”

Words weren’t even needed for this exchange of looks you gave him. Reiner looks at you as if he’s seen a ghost, now he knew - you’ve always been at his side. A lot of people were clueless, brainwashed here - the only hope you had for the future was Falco becoming the armoured titan.

“What about you?” Reiner beings, “Who’s going to get the jaw.”

You laugh, “I don’t care, as long as I’m dead by then I don’t care.”

Then a thought rushed through.

“Don’t you wonder what would happen if we just…die with it?”

Reiner stops in his tracks, he blinks multiple times, “I-I,- ”

“You had better not tried it again, Reiner.” You threatened. Your eyes meeting his with a haze of rage. The last time you had caught him trying to off himself you nearly beat the life out of him.

“I’m sorry.” He apologises, “Sometimes I imagine that it would all be so much easier if I just…disappear. I’m sick of these nightmares, y/n.”

You pitied him. You were one of the lucky ones you reckoned having not faced those dreaded Ackermans before, Zeke and Reiner talk so highly of them - about how they were nearly offed by the pair. Somehow you weirdly wish that the man Levi Ackerman would slice you down so you’d not have to deal with all of this.

But of course, you did this for your family - giving them the best life they can as long as you lived.

You two continued on until you reached the hospital. Your eyes catching a familiar blonde, you nudge Reiner and pointed.

“Is that Falco?”

Reiner squints, “Uhm, oh - it is.”

Falco, was he visiting that strange man again. You sigh, “Let me go get him, please try to get some sleep Reiner. You’ve been looking more and more dead everyday I see you.”  
Your sad smile graced him, your hand reaching to brush his cheek - he nudges his head into the teeny bit of comfort you gave him, because to him that comfort was enough to give him a bit of eye shut.

“I’ll try,” He gives you a small grin, nodding, “Have a good night, Y/n.”

“You too, friend.”

As Reiner leaves you watch his seemingly frail frame disappear. It made you so sad to see the strong boy you grew up with return home with such change. But then again, you’ve all changed.

Walking over towards Falco and the strange man you push your hands into your pockets when you reach them.

“Falco.”

Falco’s head faces up towards you as a big smile grew on his face, “Y/n! I haven’t been able to talk to you for days!”

Which was true, you had been doing your own thing with Pieck for the past few days and the young boy definitely missed you. He was one of the only things that made you happy in life.

The man beside him watch you closely which doesn’t go unnoticed by you. You side eye him trying your hardest to look friendly.

“Well I missed you too Falco, I hope you’ve been well.”

Falco’s smile was delightful, so filled with joy and pure happiness. Strangely enough this man seemed to give him that.

Falco looks between the two of you who were having a bit of a face off.

“Oh! Y/n, this is the guy I’ve been hanging out with,” Falco starts, “This is Captain Y/n L/n and this is Kruger.”

“Kruger?” You asked.

The man, Kruger nods, “That is my name.”

Falco gives him a small smile, “He’s just came back from the battlefield, he’s in rough shape if you can’t tell. I’m just sending some letters for him as he can’t do that himself right now.”

You smiled at the boy’s kindness, “Well, you’re so very kind for doing that Falco but it is past your curfew right now - and I wouldn’t want you in trouble would I?”

Falco’s eyes widened as he looks at the watch on your wrist, “No way! I missed dinner?”

“It’s okay, just head to the kitchen and tell them that Captain L/n, had held you back. Okay?” You said.

Falco jumps off his seat and bows to the man, Kruger but before he could leave you stopped him with your hand outstretched, “Why don’t you give me that, I’ll get that sent today for Mr. Kruger.”

Kruger seemed to stiffen at this.

Falco just smiles and hands them to you willingly, “Thank you Y/n, Mr. Kruger did say they were important! Good night guys.”

Falco leaves the letters in your hand and takes his leave. He runs as fast as he can towards the training halls and living quarters.

You sigh loudly, getting Kruger’s attention. You held the letters and slide them around your palm reading the addresses on the envelopes.

“You’ve got good handwriting.”

Kruger coughs, “Thank you.”

“Surprised that a war veteran with a missing limb and broken arm managed it,” You said. 

His hair covered nearly his entire face as well as the bandages across his face. His eyes first land on the armband you had, immediately he looks away.

“I asked the nurses to help me,” He said.

You didn’t press on, you only wanted to scare the man a bit but terrify him.

You sit down next to the man, leaving a rather large gap between the two of you. He’s missing a left leg and broke his right arm. You couldn’t really make out his age by the way he was sitting or the way he looks as he was covered up nearly completely.

“Did you just return? I assumed those injuries were recently as policy doesn’t allow vets to stay at the hospital that long. Rather cruel I’d say, you should be able to stay as long as you need to recover.”

He breaths a chuckle, “Yes, I’d be let home in a couple days.”

Well, he didn’t have a lot to say. You held onto those letters as you blew your lips at the sunset. Taking a look at his armband that demoted him to nothing but a war casualty. People like him were meant to fight and die, nothing else, when they return all they get is hatred and discrimination anyways - to you death was the better option.

You lean back, stretching.

“Do you like it?”   
You jump at him speaking. Looking over at him he just stares blankly ahead. You opt to answer his question as any conversation was better than zero right now.

“Like…”

“Being a titan shifter.”

Oh.

You bite your lip, answering, “That depends. I fought to get it but here I am left with a few years to live before I am eaten.”

You weren’t sure if you were supposed to say that but you wanted to vent and he seemed to not care much about if you said something out of bounds.

“Why did you fight for it,” He asks.

You cleared your throat, “My family gets to become honorary citizens and live a slightly better live than people like you, isn’t that enough to convince you to do it too?”

“So you did it for your family and with that you sacrifice the years you had to your life, instead of the half a century you could’ve lived you let yourself die within thirteen?” The man sneers.

You glare at him, “Yes. My life means nothing anyways, better to try to give them some release than living like the rest of you.”

You might’ve said something too cruel but it was true. No one wanted to be the grey armbands. Tears nearly brim on your eyes when you speak.

“Why don’t you just run away.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Run away?”

“Yes, take that boy Reiner and yourself and run away. Your titans couldn’t possibly be caught by anyone would it?” He turns to you as if he spoke of something that was a fact, as if he’s mocking you like he’s saying why haven’t you done it.

You deadpan into his eyes, the green in them pissing you off.

“It’s not that easy.”

“It is.”

“Fuck you.”

The man laughs, his laugh echoing making your blood boil. 

“Relax. Don’t turn into a titan and eat me, Y/n.”  
You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man. You stood up angrily. With the envelopes in your hand you throw them at him allowing them to hit him square in his chest and bounce onto the ground. The man was staring at the ground now looks up to meet your eyes, his lips with a smirk growing on it.

“You’re fucking pathetic. I fucking hope you’re turned into a titan weapon you ins-“

You stop when he smiles, as if he’s won.

You gape, huffing in disbelief. “Falco won’t be seeing you anymore, Kruger. Have fun with your depressing life.”

You turn on your heels and walk off, marching back as your face heats up with anger - praying you don’t just explode into a titan right now.

“We’ll see about that.” His voice distant but you heard it.

ꕥ


	2. Chapter Two, Smells like Porky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n finds comfort with Zeke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy!

ꕥ

You can't stop thinking about him. Fucking Kruger, a man without a first name apparently. That night you had caught up to Falco who was scoffing down his meal on the late night, you had told him to not see that man again―he wasn't keen on the idea, whining and begging that he really liked the man and didn't want to leave the poor man all lonely but hence you tried your hardest to convince him in the kindest way.

All Falco asked in the end was to see Mr. Kruger again for a farewell, which you could agree to, that is with you present which he didn't oppose.

He asked if something happened between the two of you that night and of course you wave him off, just telling him that the man was to be let out of the hospital soon and it was better for him to cut ties now than later when he won't be able to see him again.

Your bedroom was warm from the fire, with your position of course you had a nice room but your mind trailed towards the thought of Reiner. Was he alright?

You decided that a check up on the poor boy was in order. Even if he was older somehow you managed to find yourself in a place where he listened to you more than anyone, maybe it was your rank.

Holding onto the doorknob you push the door open to only jump at the sight ahead.

"Pieck! Christ sake, what are you doing?" You exclaimed, holding onto your chest as your heart races.

Pieck who was crouched over the floor on her hands and knees laugh, "Sorry, (Y/n). I was trying to get to the Kitchen."

You chuckle, before noticing the cuts and bruises on her fingers. Her finger nails ripped up and sore, she'd been stuck in this position due to her titan powers taking a toll on her body. She didn't have very long left, you felt bad for her.

"Do you need help? Where are your crutches?" You drop to your knees, taking hold of her shoulders trying to straighten her up.

She waves your arms off soften, smiling, "It's okay! I'm comfortable this way, it hurts to walk like you do."

You stay on your knees as she crawls her way towards the stairs, another shriek heard.

"Pieck! What the fuck," Porco shouts.

She laughs again, "Sorry there Porky, let me through will you?"

He moves willingly staring at her funny, "Can't you walk like a normal person?"

She clicks her tongue and just makes her way downstairs. Porco sighs, rolling his neck cracking it in the process―he turns to his left to see you still on your knees.

"Don't tell me you're stuck like her too, Captain," Porco teases.

You deadpan, cocking your head and getting up―brushing your knees off, "Shut your mouth before I eat you."

His eyes widened, proceeding to salute you as you got close to him. "I don't like that if you've forgotten."

"Sorry."

Porco bites the corner of his lips as he taps his feet as if waiting for you to say something. Right, he was supposed to be a warrior wasn't he, instead Reiner took his place and when the Jaw as returned they chose you.

"How are you doing," You ask.

He looks up to meet your eyes, "I'm fine, doing better than the rest of you."

He was referring to the state of the warriors, which he was supposed to be apart of―he was definitely the lucky one. After all his brother was a warrior therefore his family was safe. You can't help but feel like he wanted the jaw but out of respect he needed to keep his mouth shut.

"Could I ask you to keep an eye on Reiner for me?" You ask.

Porco cocks his eyebrow at you, "Oh, uhm―sure. Can I ask why?"

"He's been doing questionable things when he's alone..." You trailed, Porco's eyes widened nodding as it did understanding completely where you're headed.

He sighs, puffing his cheeks―his hands move to scratch his head, "Jeez, I've got it."

"That's all, I'm heading to find Falco," You said, moving past him, "Have a good day, Porky."

Porco stutters, turning to see you walking down the steps before remembering something, "Falco left since morning...he said he needed to meet up with someone?"

Your head snaps at him, "Where."

ꕥ

Unbelievable, the nerve of this boy. He should feel lucky that he's your favourite, other wise you'd beat the life out of that little thing. On the way there you run into the blond man who's intelligence seemed to surpass everyone.

"(Y/n), good morning."

Zeke nods his head, taking a drag from his cigarette. You stopped in your tracks, giving him a nod in return.

"Good morning, Zeke," You reply, stepping closer to him away from the busy streets, "How are you?"

That was a question you asked nearly everyone you run into everyday. It was only because you'd hope they would know that you are always there for them, hoping and waiting for them to tell you how they feel instead of hiding it and doing the unthinkable, alike Reiner who seemed to be the hardest to get through to―even if you were close.

"I'm great, thank you," Zeke smiles, "How are you?"

Finally, someone asks you as well. You hadn't had that asked in a while. Truly how were you, as if you'd actually tell him but hence the few of you that were close could see it in each other's eyes whenever that was asked. The sadness, the anger or the pain, the eyes are best of story tellers.

"I could be better, honestly," You opt to not lie, as the man himself would easily catch you slipping.

Zeke nods, throwing the nearly finishing butt to the ground and stepping on it. He turns to face you full on, pushing his hands into his jacket pocket, "Something you want to talk about?"

"I'd rather not, if I'm being honest," You reply.

The look on your face was enough. The sucking of your bottom lip, taking a tiny bite of the dried skin. Rolling on the balls of your feet and unable to meet his eyes fully.

Zeke leans down to your level, his hands on your shoulder pulling you into his embrace.

Huh.

He squeezes you warmly, this was comforting. You sniffled, holding back the tears that have been held back for years―wrapping your arms around his waist and trying to sink yourself into the fabrics of his top.

Zeke's lips brushing against the curve of your ear, "It'll get better, I promise."

You furrowed your eyebrows at the pure relief that was let out of you with a deep breath. Finally, someone says it―even if it wasn't going to be true you could pretend and it felt so good. Sniffling one last time before pulling back to meet his eyes.

Giving him a small smile, "Thank you for that, I needed it."

He returns it, patting the back of your head. Your hair was down for once today, since you had actually been in a rush it was a sight to see for Zeke who rarely sees your hair down. Must've been some sort of foretelling that you were becoming a mess, slowly lacking the will to take care of your looks and that.

"I could tell," He says, "I'm here for you, (y/n), I'm literally down the hall whenever you want to talk."

You let out a happy sigh, something you rarely do, "Thank you again―"

Your eye falls on the watch on Zeke's wrist, "Fuck―I've got to go!"

Ripping away from him you bowed a couple times quickly before he could even stop you, running the other way towards that hospital. It was nearly lunchtime and you needed to know if Falco was actually meeting Kruger again because then he'd be needing some sort of punishment for going against your order.

ꕥ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn at it's best, we'll get to more Eren soon don't worry :)


	3. Chapter Three, You're Vile Mr. Kruger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falco meets with Kruger again eventhough you told him not to and Kruger has a lot to say.

ꕥ

“Falco!” You shout, your anger probably fuming off of you in waves.

The boy jumps on the same bench he was on yesterday, cowering slightly as he stood up orderly awaiting you to come up to him. You march over, ignoring the man next to him.

You immediately grab ahold of Falco’s ear yanking him towards you, “Haven’t I given you an order?”

He whimpers, holding onto your wrist trying to relieve the pain even a little.

“Yes, Captain you did! I’m sorry!” He whines. The small boy nearly half your height almost had tears running down his face.

Kruger finally finds the nerve to step in, getting up on his crutches and moving towards you. His hand takes hold of your wrist prying it off Falco.

“I asked him to come. I’ll take whatever punishment suits you,” Kruger said, still holding onto your wrist now that Falco had been freed. The boy had his head dropped in shame knowing damn well not following orders can lead to a lot more than just running laps.

You glare at the man who had one eye for you to see. Cocking your head at Falco you instead choose to punish him, “Falco, you’ll go to Zeke and ask him for a suitable punishment for not following my orders. Now.”

Falco couldn’t bear to even speak to you, just whispering a goodbye to Kruger and running off towards Zeke who’d give him a reasonable punishment that won’t scar him. Yet, the man infront of you stare at you as you watch Falco disappear into the distance.

Finally you snap your head towards the man, ripping your wrist out of his hold causing him to stumble on his remaining limb.

“You’re cruel to him.”

“I’m not, but you,” You sneer, “You are vile, Mr. Kruger.”

His name like venom slipping through your tongue. You turn on your heel to leave but is held back by the man yet again who holds onto your arm, pulling you to him.

“Don’t hurt him,” He said, as if pleading with you or something.

You furrow your eyebrows at his assumption, “I would never, that boy means a lot to me―”

“Is that why you’re keeping him away from me?”

“Precisely,” You state, “I don’t know your intentions but you shouldn’t be getting close with a warrior candidate. You could hurt his chances or get him killed.”

The man squints, unknowing of this fact. At least he decides to let go.

You shrug, raising your hand to brush off the arm he held. He had a tight grip, it would be leaving a bruise for a few minutes at most but hell, did it pulse.

Kruger meets your eye, saying, “I didn’t know.”

“Of course you don’t, just leave him alone,” You said.

The man sighs, “It’s lonely, I’ve got no one. If he can’t come see me why don’t you instead―at least allow me some sort of friendship.”

Pitiful. The state of his life was terrible of course, you could do as he asks but why would you. Did you feel bad for the man, of course, if he truly had no one then who are those letters to.

“If you have no one…who are you sending letters to.”

Kruger clears his throat seemingly getting uncomfortable from standing on his one leg for this long, “I said I’ve got no one, by that I mean no one that really wants anything to do with me.”

Oh.

You concluded that his family probably didn’t want to responsibility of taking care of him. It was tough but it was normal here, many veterans alike himself end up dead in the battlegrounds but the few that return that don’t return whole end up being outcasted by their families and homeless.

“I can’t help you.”

He chuckles, “You can.”

“Just a few minutes of your day,” he finishes.

Thinking it through, it was either this or Falco probably sneaking out to see the man again. A few minutes, you could spare that as most of you day was spent waiting for people anyways.

“Fine, but I’m not hanging out at a general hospital. If you can make use of that one leg follow me to the courtyard.”

Kruger’s lips stretch into a small grin, his eyes dead inside still but it wasn’t like yours were full of life either.

ꕥ

“How old are you?” He asks.

Finally you managed to end up in the courtyard, well lit and far away from as many eyes as possible. Who knows sometimes suspicious people end up disappearing off the streets and you could imagine the heartbreak for Falco if it happened to this man.

“Twenty one,” You answered, looking at the dying flowers in the pots surrounding the water fountain centre of the courtyard. The man takes a seat on one of the benches surrounding it. “What about you?”

“I’m nineteen.”

You didn’t expect that, somehow he looked much older than he said he was, but nevertheless you didn’t care and found yourself enjoying the small talk. You see a watering can nearby and decide to grab it, Kruger’s eyes never seem to leave you. Filling it up with the water from the fountain you continue to disperse it amongst all the flowers hoping it would at least do something. You couldn’t imagine why the flowers were dying, usually they’re well kept but maybe these needed a little more tentative care.

“How long do you have left?” He asks.

That was quite personal, asking how long of your life there is left. But hence you answer, “I’ve got nine years.”

He hums. Of course you had nine years but it was likely enough it would be pass on earlier than that, or well never since a more detrimental war was coming for you maybe you’d die fighting. That would be quite good.

Kruger sees a smile etch onto your face as you thought.

“You’ve got a while don’t you? Decades,” You said, “What are you going to do with all those years?”

He breathes, placing down his crutches as he got comfortable, “I don’t have as long as you think, people don’t live that long anymore.”

Right.

You shrug, “So? I like to hear what people imagine happening in their lives, maybe open a coffee shop or tea if that’s your taste. Move elsewhere, explore the world…theres a lot to do, I wish I could do it.”

Kruger stares longingly at you, then snaps his head when he realises you’ve stopped speaking, “Tea shop, I know someone who might enjoy that.”

You smiled, seeing his grin grow. Dropping the watering can you spin, allowing your coat to move with it.

“I haven’t smiled in years…does it look weird?”

You turn to face him, biting your lip as you look, he’s been holding his smile for a few seconds now and it had started to look extremely forced you laugh at it, your eyes crinkle, “It does now.”

The man lets out a small and quiet chuckle.

“I should be back now…” You murmur.

Kruger nods, “Should you?”

You cock your head, “Yes, I should but―”

“You don’t want to?” He finishes your sentence off with a question.

You nod, “Something like that.”

“Its boring back there, the same things everyday. At least today you’ve somehow made my day interesting.”

He blows a bit of his long hair that covered his face, “How did I do that?”

“You’re different from everyone else here,” You trailed, biting the inside of your cheek, “You’re honest.”

He lets out a deep breath, “Aren’t your friends honest to you?”

“Friends…you’d think but with the rank I was granted, they sometimes lie in fear that I’d report them,” You explained.

He shakes his head in disbelief, “I hate that, I’ve seen how you’re all treated here. Even with those armbands and ranks, you’re still not marleyan.”

“Just like you, we’re reduced to blood of the demon.”

Kruger squeezes his leg, trying to hold back, “It’s disgusting, everyone should be treated the same. We didn’t ask to be born different.”

“But we are…only because of the choices our ancestors make―now we must live to rectify their choices,” You huff.

“It is a cruel world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading if you'd like to read ahead you can go over to my Wattpad I think there are 2 extra chapters on there right now!
> 
> Please leave a kudos and a comment to LMK if you enjoyed and would like more!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If this hasn't been updated in a while please check my Wattpad @ohreia, my stories are all there and updated before over there.


End file.
